Trust the Process
I continue to say that I'm going to dedicate more time to my blog, but I've made myself a liar! The neglect hasn't been intentional, but rather a result of marathon training, returning to work, and life in general. Being a marathon training working mom is H.A.R.D! As the Marine Corps Marathon looms in the not so distant future, I figured it's about time I come back to my blog.
To say that I am nervous to run this marathon might be the understatement of the year. As each day passes and marathon day grows closer and closer, my nerves are screaming. All that positive self-talk a few months ago when I started my training is growing quieter when thinking about running for 26.2 miles. Let's face it... running for over 3/4/5 hours just isn't normal!
My training hasn't been going as well as I would have liked. Returning to work really threw a wrench in the plan. Early mornings and busy schedules have forced me back on the treadmill where I don't feel I'm pushing myself like if I would if hitting the pavement. I also struggle with the reality of overtraining. As aches and pains persisted from longer runs, I questioned if I was doing too much. I have deliberately cut back on my training in order to avoid injury. But here's the kicker... cutting back is counterintuitive to feeling prepared to run 26.2 miles. Even though I know I have a solid running base, and performed well in the Philly RnR 1/2 a few weeks ago, I just don't feel ready for October 30th. It's interesting. All the years of playing competitive sports in some of the most pressure-filled situations, and I never got nervous. I suppose the difference is that I never entered a game feeling unprepared. My own preparation coupled with that of my coaches and teammates always lead to a confidence when facing an opponent. Now my biggest opponent is my own mind. Finding that inner strength to believe in my training and abilities... working on it!
I came across a saying last week that said, "Trust the Process." I definitely need to heed this advice, and continue to train in the last few weeks so that I know I've done everything I can do to be prepared for Marine Corps. It isn't enough to just participate. I want to cross that finish line knowing that I gave it everything I have. While nobody else cares about my finish time or pace, it matters to me. I know I'll receive a medal at the end of the race. I want to place it around my neck knowing that it was earned. And so, I keep running.